[Standard Content Warning: This is an ABDL story blog, that means stories on this page contain diapers, diaper usage (like, lots of it), infantilism and the like! In addition, mental and physical manipulation, bondage and nonconsensual or dubiously consensual employment of all of the above themes and many others may also apply. Viewer discretion is advised.]
Unsurprisingly, after the infusions start again, your good days become increasingly infrequent and the definition of “good” becomes increasingly relative. Very little effort is expended on mitigating the mana sickness now, with most of your caretakers instead trying to find ways to either make you more comfortable or make taking care of you easier.
“They have strips on them that stick, so you just stick it to the front without using pins! And, instead of just cloth, we have this padding that’ll absorb her accidents better!”
Madris is showing off a new type of diaper she and a couple of spellcrafters came up with. It’s supposed to make changing you easier.
“If it uses tapes instead of pins, can I put them on myself?” You ask, a hint of sarcasm in your voice.
“Uhm….can I see your hand, Princess?” Madris asks, trying to figure out a way to put this delicately. You lift up your arm. Your hands shake as you try and take the diaper from Madris. She hands it to you and you try to finagle with it, unfolding it so you can figure out how to tape it up. It fumbles out of your hands, bounces out of your carriage-chair and lands on the ground. You let out a sigh. At least you tried. Your mother picks it up and looks it over. She at least seems impressed with the craftsmanship, if not with your lack or coordination.
“Start making more,” she says. Madris bows and leaves while your mother lays you down so she can change you out of your cloth diapers into this new one. The main thing you notice as it’s put on you is the padding Madris mentioned. You can feel it between your legs and especially in your bottom. Once it’s on, she pats at the diapers and runs her hands over it, making sure it’s nice and secure. “What do you think, Rain?”
“I think that’s the first time I’ve been changed without sitting in my own wet and muck for at least an hour in weeks,” you mutter grumpily. It’s again worth emphasizing, the nonchalance regarding the state of your diapers has really gone up over time around here. “….it’s soft,” you eventually admit.
“Mmn.” Your mother smiles at you. “Soft is good. We’ll see if Madris can make one that’s even softer for you.”
‘Soft is good’. If only your mother knew those words had sent one half of you happily preening and gloating over the other half.
Your hands were increasingly becoming a problem, by the way, as were other parts of your body. You didn’t have the strength or coordination to grip or hold much of anything, so feeding yourself was becoming a thing of the past. Your stomach was more sensitive than ever, so eating anything good was going away with it. You guess you shouldn’t have been surprised when one day, your handmaiden came to your room for breakfast not with a tray of food, but…
“A bottle?” You ask, exasperated.
“I spoke to the spellnurses and they think this is the best thing to not upset your tummy, my Princess,” your handmaiden says, holding a large bottle of white milk in her hands.
“Can you at least say stomach?” You groan.
“Of course, my Princess,” she says. “Now, you must be very hungry,” she says and you don’t have the energy to object, so you heave a sigh and let her place the rubber nipple into your mouth. Her fingers twirl a bit as she casts a small spell to help work the flow and it starts coming into your mouth without you even having to suck. The milk is warm and sweet, at least. You try to focus on that as you drink it down, the sound of your handmaiden’s encouragement in the background.
When they knew you weren’t going to fight them on the bottles, that was pretty much the last you saw of anything resembling adult food. They also regularly spoonfed you some mush they promised was very healthy and made with all kinds of vegetables, but tasted like old feet. But for the most part, your diet was bottles of milk in the morning, bottles of milk at night and bottles of milk in between.
Which, unsurprisingly, ran right through you. Your ability to hold anything in was nil at this point. On most days, you couldn’t tell you needed to pee until you felt the front of your padding getting warm and squishy. For the other kind of accident, you got a small pang in your stomach as warning a few seconds before your body started pushing out soft, muddy mess. You went so often now, nobody considered it noteworthy. Madris would sing-song about how “the Princess has a poopy butt!” when she played with you. She didn’t turn away and let you try to hide, anymore. She just let you crawl around for a bit and then came and picked you up. Despite how embarrassing it should be, she was still one of the few in the castle who actually tried to engage with you in some way rather than just taking care of you, so you somehow appreciated it.
On your worst days, you feel more like a doll than a person. You lay in bed, nap for hours, fill your diapers, wake up just to be given a bottle, drink it, fill your diapers again, wait until someone decides to change you, go back to sleep and eventually get carried off to see your mother for a bit before it’s time to go back to sleep. When you’re capable of talking enough to hold a conversation, you try to find out what’s happening around the keep, the town and the kingdom. She answers, but keeps her answers vague.
“I spoke to the heads of House Cloven and House Grimwood, recently,” she says. “Sabine and Bernadette are both doing well. Princess Giulia’s work is showing promise as well.”
It’s been a long time since you spoke to Giulia. You’re sure she knows the state you got yourself into, but you’re still kind of glad she never saw you like this.
As you sit in your mother’s lap being fed a bottle, your handmaiden whispers something to her.
“Is it ready yet, your Grace?”
“Almost,” she says back quietly. “Within a few days, we think.” Your handmaiden nods to her. You’re not sure what they’re talking about, so you don’t dwell on it.
You do dwell on the mention of your friends, though. And eventually, on your best day in a while, you successfully convince your handmaiden and your guard for the day to let you meet with them, the first time you’ve convinced anyone of anything in a very long while. You even get to ride in your old wheelchair today, which your mother apparently didn’t have destroyed.
“Bernie, lemme have some cows, my dragons are hungry.”
“I just gave your dragons 10% of my sheep, how are they still hungry?!”
“They’re dragons! They’re big eaters!”
You, Sabine and Bernadette are sat in front of a large board representing the entire country, divided up into all of the various kingdoms. There are pieces representing knights, soldiers, supplies and, yes, dragons and way on the other side of the board are group of pieces in the shape of a set of dark, shadowy figures.
It’s a strategy game, popular among young nobles such as yourselves. It simulates a war where the country is attacked from the outside by a strange force, dark and magical in nature. The goal of the game is to get all of the different kingdoms to work together.
“Sabine, we need to feed our people too, you’re going to have to spend some time raising your own sheep and cows instead of just making more dragons,” you say and Sabine grumbles.
“What’s better for fightin’ off wraiths than a buncha dragons?!” She demands.
“People and dragons that aren’t starving because there’s too little food,” you say, simply. “Come on, you start raising some livestock - me and Bernie have to go west to try and get their armies to join us.”
“I agree with Rain,” Bernadette says with a nod.
“I think this alliance could use a new leader!” Sabine growls as she stands up.
“Do you mean to the challenge the Arcane Crown, Queen of the Mountains?” You ask, your voice harsh and your eyes steely. “As we have a common enemy, I will show you mercy if you attack, and my witches will only blast half of your dragons out of the sky.” Sabine leans forward and glares at you for a moment….before relenting and sitting back down.
“You win this round, Witch Queen,” she huffs and the three of you can’t help but giggle. This is the most fun you’ve had in a while.
“Hmmmmn, that’s a very vulnerable supply line you have going on there.”
All three of you look up and see your mother enter the room. Sabine and Bernadette are instantly in awe. She gives them a polite wave and goes back to inspecting the board.
“You’re exposed here and your dragons are all the way up here,” she says, pointing at the board. “You’re going to be hit hard from the west if you’re not careful.”
“We were just about to go west to find allies, as a matter of fact,” you say. Grabbing a piece and moving it over.
“Oh, and what makes you so sure they’ll be happy to see you?” She asks.
“Because we’re building an alliance to fight the wraiths! If they don’t join us, everybody will die!” You say as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“The wraiths are an existential crisis,” your mother explains. “There is nothing people like to do more than ignore an existential crisis in order to continue fighting amongst themselves.”
You still feel your strategy is sound, but, you guess you can’t really argue with her. Seeing as she fought in the war the game is based off of.
“Did you come to play too, uhm, your Grace?” Bernadette asks. You look at your mother curiously. And she looks right at you.
“No, I just came to give something to the Princess,” she says, then gestures to you. “Come, Rain, it’s time to eat.” Your immediately feel your face flushing.
“Uh, mother,” you murmur quietly. “Can I just….” You look at your friends, then inch your wheelchair over closer to your mother so you can whisper. “Can I just have my bottle later? I don’t really want to have to drink it in front of my friends.” Or maybe you could at least have your milk in a cup, or something. Your mother regards your request for a second or two, then smiles.
“There’s no bottle today, Rain,” she says. Then she does something you really didn’t expect. She starts undoing the top of her gown, exposing her shoulders, then her chest. Both Sabine and Bernadette gasp. You’re so shocked you barely realize she’s reaching for you until she lifts you up out of your chair.
“W-wait, mother, what’re you doing?” You ask as she holds you against her with one arm and finishes exposing her chest with another. “Mother, wait — mmph…!”
And before you know it, she’s placed her breast in your mouth. You don’t suckle, but, she casts a quick spell and the flow starts coming anyway. The milk fills your mouth and you start swallowing. You realize quickly that the milk is full of her mana and this isn’t just your feeding, it’s also your infusion. You feel the mana-rich milk settling in your stomach and you feel your arms going limp and your legs going numb. You murmur into your mother’s breast, a little trail of white sneaking out of your lips and falling down to your chin as you feel a familiar little pang in your stomach, followed by a rude noise coming from your backside. You start wetting first, but before too long, you feel the first wave of mess pushing into your padding as well.
You can only imagine the look on Bernadette and Sabine’s faces right now. There’s absolutely nothing subtle about any of this. The sight of your mouth on your mother’s breast, the way she’s encouraging you, the crackling of your diapers as they get increasingly soaked, filled and heavy. Five minutes ago, this was your best day in a while. Now, you’re nursing from your mother’s breast while you continuously mess your diapers right in front of your two best friends.
You let out a little gasp when she pulls you free. You looked up at her, a dazed expression on your eyes. You’re not sure what to say. You note the mischievous little glint in her eyes.
“Other side,” she coos, then guides your head right back down, onto her other breast. You whine as the milk starts flowing again, but after a second, your body just kind of….gives in. You don’t know if it’s instinct or if you’re just trying to get this over with as soon as possible. The milk and the mana and the whole situation is combining to make you a bit too loopy to tell, but whatever the reason, this time, you start suckling. The noise makes it more obvious what’s happening. Your mother lets out a contented noise as you nurse more actively now. Your stomach groans again and before you know it, you’re pooping yourself again, more small waves of mess pushing into your seat one at a time, crawling up your bottom and forward between your legs. You’ve also been uncontrollably wetting yourself pretty much constantly since shortly after the mana-infused nursing started. Your diapers were clean (alright, maybe you dribbled into them a bit during the game, but nobody has to know about that) before your mother walked into the room. They’re now a desperately full, sludgey disaster and your body shows no signs of letting up. Your mother lightly bounces you up and down as you keep suckling. You whimper and feel yourself wiggling your bottom a bit as the horribly mushy, soupy mixture smushes against you with each moment and each time you add a little more to it.
But eventually, finally, it ends. You hear a wet pop as she pulls you away and starts dabbing at your mouth. It dawns on you that you pooped yourself and wet yourself pretty much nonstop through that feeding and your stomach is still so, so, so full of milk. That’s going to be a problem.
“Girls, would you be so kind as to move the board for a moment, so we can help Rain?” She asks. Part of you wants to be mortified by what you’re sure is about to happen, but you simply don’t have the energy anymore.
“Uh, y-yeah, sure!” Sabine says, carefully picking up and moving the board off of the table. Your mother spreads a cloth out.
“H-help her, how?” Bernadette asks. Your mother lays you down on top of the cloth. She takes your dress off, leaving you in your underdress and bloomers.
“Mmmnn…mother…” You whimper. You’re too tired to really object, but you really wish she wouldn’t do this here. Not in front of your friends. You try to say as much, but instead, something is popped into your mouth, silencing you. You realize it’s a pacifier and let out a sigh.
“We’re going to change her poopy butt, of course,” the Queen says matter-of-factly and beings spreading out creams, oils, cloths and, yes, new diapers onto the table. She pulls down your bloomers, exposing your massively full, stained diapers. You can’t put your hands over your eyes, so you just try to look away. Part of you wants to spit out the pacifier, but, instead you find yourself quietly sucking on it. It bothers you that it actually makes you feel a little better.
“So she really does wear diapers now, huh….” Sabine mutters. If there was any doubt, staring at the very obviously extremely messy diaper that you just spent the last several minutes repeatedly filling handily confirms it.
“Mmn, one of the symptoms of her mana sickness is that she needs diapers for all of her accidents now,” your mother explains, again, as if it were obvious. Then, you see that glint in her eyes again as she looks at the two of them. “Of course, mana sickness is a strange illness. There are many ways a young noble lady could catch it and wind up in diapers of her own, if she were not careful. Don’t you two agree?” And at that, you actually do turn your head to see all of the color instantly drain out of your friends’ faces.
“Ahahahah, yeah, mana sickness!” Sabine says, sweating more than you’ve ever seen her sweat. “You’ve got to be really careful with that!”
“A-and we wouldn’t want to complicate things for Rain by doing anything like.” Bernadette elbows Sabine a couple times. “Telling anybody about it! Right?!” Elbow. “Sabine?!”
“Y-yeah. Yeah! We would, uh, we would never wanna violate Rain’s confidence like that!” Sabine insists….and the glint vanishes from your mother’s eye, replaced by a big smile.
“I knew I could count on you girls,” she says. “Come here, let me show you how to change her.”
You understand what your mother was doing, but, frankly, you would’ve preferred if she had just waited to do this until later, rather than nursing you in front of your friends so she could threaten them into secrecy. Either way, your friends help your mother change you and you feel bad, but, at least they seem motivated by genuine desire to help you, rather than repulsed by the state your in. It doesn’t hurt that your mother does the most unsavory parts herself. When you’re all cleaned, Bernadette tentatively hands your mother one of your diapers.
“Here, you unfold it like this,” she demonstrates. “Now hold up her legs and slide it underneath.” She guides them through it. You feel your bottom sink into even more padding than before. You’re pretty sure this one is a lot thicker than the other diapers Madris made for you, muchless the cloth ones from before. Unfortunately, your mother isn’t done. “Now, Rain just had a very big meal, so to be safe, we’re going to give her a little more help, alright?”
“E-even more than that?” Bernadette asks, echoing your thoughts exactly.
“Al….alright,” Sabine says and grabs another diaper. “Like this?”
“Why don’t you both take one?” Your mother suggests. You let out a little whimper and suck on your pacifier for comfort. They do indeed both take one more of the already thicker-than-normal diapers and take turns taping them on over the one you’re already wearing. You wind up in a triple-layered diaper so thick, you’re pretty sure it’s bulkier completely clean and dry than the last one you were wearing in it’s totally ruined state.
“There we are!” Your mother claps her hands together. “Now Rain is nice and clean.” She looks at your friends. “Now, I understand this isn’t how you expected to spend your day with her, but I just want to make sure you understand. Rain is going to be dealing with her mana sickness for a very long time, and there are going to be many days like this ahead of her. All I’m going to ask from you two is to keep her confidence, understand?” And they both nod - because they both understand the consequences of not doing so. “But…if you two still want to keep spending time with her.” She reaches down and strokes your head. “Even if she can’t always express it. I’m sure Rain would appreciate your presence very much.”
It’s quiet for a moment. You can’t help it, you eventually look at your two friends to see how they’re digesting all of this. Eventually, Sabine looks at you and nods.
“Yeah,” she says. “Rain is our friend.”
“If she’s sick, I…I w-wanna help her however I can!” Bernadette chips in. And despite the very real reality of how embarrassing this whole episode is, you feel your heart swell. You can’t express your gratitude now, but, the next time you can move your arms, you’re going to hug the crap out of these two.
“I’m so glad to hear that. I’m sure Rain is as well,” your mother says. “In that case, I believe I can leave you three back to your game, although….” She reaches down and picks you up. You see your handmaiden rolling something in - not your chair-carriage thing from before. This one is just an actual carriage. You groan a bit as your mother lays you down in it on your back, setting your head down on some pillows that were already propped up inside. You try to sit up, but, that’s not happening. You can’t really move at all. “She’s not going to be able to say or do much for the rest of the day. But please try to keep her involved.”
Once you’re tucked away in your new carriage to your mother’s satisfaction, she gives you a kiss and leaves, no doubt back to important business. True to her word, your ability to contribute to the game or the conversation after that point is pretty much nil. All you can really do is lay there in the carriage, your full belly of milk making you wet and mess yourself with merciless regularity. You’re dimly aware you’ve reached some form of logical conclusion. At first, you were changed very quickly after your accidents or you could just change yourself. Then, they didn’t want to interrupt your sleep, so you often had to spend your naps and bedtime with your diapers in some state of duress. Now, your accidents were so frequent, your handmaiden nor your guards were paying them any mind. They were content to concoct the thickest diapers they could, put you in multiple layers and leave you to stew in your own mess. From their perspective, since you were going to fill them again soon anyway, it must’ve seemed the most efficient way to deal with it. From yours, you were starting to worry that your future was going to involve a lot more time sitting in your own waste than it was being clean and dry.
Your friends are good sports about it, not commenting too much on your constant accidents and asking you simply ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions that you can at least kind of respond to. You appreciate the effort.
“Hey, Rain, if I can have some of your sheep to feed my dragons, poop your pants.”
“Mmmph….!”
“Thanks, Rain!”
You mostly appreciate the effort.
—
Eventually, your friends retire to their guest chambers and you’re taking in your carriage back to your own. Your handmaiden has retired as well for the night, leaving you with Artemis pushing your carriage and your mother walking alongside.
“I’m a bit relieved her friends were so kind. I thought they would run for the hills the second they saw what had become of Rain,” your mother says.
“She has good instincts. She found good people to be friends with,” Artemis says. “Also, I believe you scared the hell out of them, your Grace.” Your mother laughs into your hand.
“I do believe I did,” she agrees. “…I still want to find an excuse to diaper them at some point,” she admits. Artemis chuckles.
“You’ve acclimated to our new circumstances,” she says. “Now you’re seeing Rain in every young noble that walks our halls.”
“I think I might be,” she admits. “Artemis. Can I ask you your honest opinion on something?”
“Anything at any time, your Grace,” Artemis says. “I am bound to give you only my most honest counsel and keep all of your secrets.” The Queen nods. Of course she is. The fact that she even felt the need to ask means whatever she’s about to say must be at least somewhat heavy.
“That night. The night Rain used that spell circle and infused all of that mana into herself.” Your mother pauses. She looks at you, then looks at Artemis. “We just left all of that mana, all of my mana, unguarded and unsecured in the workshop.” Artemis pauses for a second, then goes back to pushing you.
“We did.”
“That was a massive lapse in security. I just don’t think I would ever do something so reckless. There was any number of things I could’ve done to secure it and any one of them would’ve averted what happened. It would’ve been a simple order to give. It would’ve taken seconds.”
“It’s occurred to me too, your Grace. It is…rare. For both of us to experience such weakness in our judgment at the same time.”
“Artemis,” your mother says and pauses. “…did we do it on purpose?”
You blink a couple of times. Artemis places two fingers on her lips for a second and shakes her head.
“I don’t know, your Grace. I remember that night, my heart aching for Princess Rain, for the pain she was feeling. I remember wishing I could take it away from her, but this…” She lets out a sigh. “I don’t know that I wanted this for her.”
“Maybe some part of me just wanted to see what she would do,” your mother muses. “I could never allow her to do something like what she did, no matter how I felt, but unconsciously, maybe some part of me heard what she said, about wanting my blood and just…agreed with her.”
You’re not sure what to make of any of this. You’re not sure you’ve ever seen your mother this hung up on a decision she made, conscious or not.
“Suppose for the sake of argument that that were true, your Grace,” Artemis says. “Standing here today, would you think it was worth it?” It’s quiet for a moment as your mother hesitates to answer.
“I’m just not sure,” she eventually admits. “Part of me wonders if maybe this was for the best. Maybe Rain wanted to be taken care of and I wanted to take care of her and neither of us knew how to express that. But the cost is so heavy.” She looks down and strokes your cheek. “So many things that were taken from her. I don’t know if it’s worth it.” You also don’t think you’ve ever seen her this unsure of herself, before. She’s always been such a pillar of confidence, especially in front of you. Why is she doing this now, rather than discussing it with Artemis privately? She knows you’re listening, she’s looking right at you. The only thing you can think of is, if she did in fact let things get this way, intentionally or not…she’s trying to apologize to you for it.
“Those things will return to her,” Artemis reminds your mother. “We don’t know when, but the sun will rise on a day where Princess Rain is in control of her own fate once again.” You have to admit, sometimes, it doesn’t feel that way to you. As your condition has increasingly slid and the people around you have increasingly gotten used to it, it’s getting difficult to feel like this isn’t just your life, forever. But you appreciate Artemis reminding the both of you that it isn’t.
“…if that day comes and you have determined that this was what was best for her. What will you do, your Grace?” You definitely think Artemis is asking that question in front of you on purpose. Because depending on the answer, she thinks you deserve to know. Again, you appreciate it.
Your mother, for her part, starts laughing. She sounds exasperated.
“I’m starting to feel like an echo on a mountain, but I don’t know that either!” She says. She lets out a sigh. “I used to look at Rain and think I was seeing the next Witch Queen. I didn’t even think I needed to search for another aspirant, because I always believed it would be her. But.” She looks down at you. “I see her now, like this and she’s so… … …perfect.” You think you see her getting a bit misty-eyed. You feel just a little bit choked up yourself. “….I just don’t know what’s best for her.”
It’s a shockingly vulnerable moment from a woman that up to this point, you believed to be quite invulnerable. Nobody says anything for a while. Eventually, you arrive at the door to your chamber. Artemis opens the door and your mother pushes you inside.
Your mother strips the front of her gown and nurses you again. This time, you suckle without objection. Artemis is already laying out the materials to change you. You can’t help but sigh when you see five diapers stacked on top of each other this time.
Once you’ve nursed and been changed, you’re dressed in one of your nightgowns and laid down in your crib. Your mother, the Queen and the leader of the Queensguard lean over the bars staring at you in silence for a good long while. They seem to be realizing there’s no easy answers to any of the things they spoke about on the way here.
“Well. We have a long time before we have to decide on anything,” Artemis eventually decides, pulling a blanket up to your shoulders and tucking it around the edges.
“That, we do,” the Queen agrees.
“Mmmph,” you mutter into your pacifier. Your mother smiles at you and leans in to kiss you on the cheek. The same way she did your first night here.
“Good night, Rain,” she whispers to you. Artemis reaches a hand in and pats your head. Then, they both leave you. On the way, you hear your mother speak, “In the meantime, I do want to figure out a way to put those other two in diapers.” Rather than object to this clearly ridiculous idea, Artemis surprises you by immediately encouraging it.
“If they came down with mana sickness as well, it would only be safest to keep them here. Our spellnurses are the best in the country, after all. I’ll draft a letter to their homes.”
“What’s that game that Madris plays with Rain sometimes?”
“Ah, I believe she calls it ‘Princess Catch’.”
“No points for creativity, I suppose. I wonder. Do you think it’d be fun if we made a game where if they can hide successfully, they win, but if they get caught, then they get put in diapers?”
“I think it would be significantly more enjoyable for us than it would be for them, your Grace.”
“Hm….”
You can’t help but wince as the sound of conversation fades away and you hear the door close. There’s a lot of thoughts trying to find purchase in your mind right now and piecing any of them together is difficult enough without a belly full of mana-infused milk making you feel lightheaded. Your mother thinks there’s a chance she had an intentional hand in your infantilization and she admitted she doesn’t know whether or not she even wants to let you return to normal. Now, instead of just accepting the agonizingly slow but ultimately inevitable healing process of your mana sickness, you have to at least consider the possibility that your mother will decide she can find someone else to be her heir and she just wants you to be her permanent baby princess.
But that’s all a bit much to figure out right now and, to Artemis’ credit, she did correctly point out that it’ll be a very long time before any of this becomes relevant. The main thing you’re thinking right now is that you kind of wish you had some way to warn Bernadette and Sabine about what was coming.
But right now, all you can do is quietly suckle at your pacifier and let sleep take you away.
The End.
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